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10 reasons I won’t connect to you on LinkedIn

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10 reasons why I won’t connect to you on LinkedIn

Connect to you on LinkedIn – well that depends…

No to Linkedin I won't connect to you on LinkedInLinkedIn has become THE connection and networking tool. It easily allows members (for free) to connect with people they know, share ideas, thoughts and of course look for new employment opportunities.

The principle is simple, if you know someone then invite them to connect… it’s as simple as that. Or is it? Do people connect to you on LinkedIn, why?

When I first joined LinkedIn I would often receive connection requests from people I did not know, but I accepted. Some time later this would come back to haunt me. Some of these people would “spam” my contact list with requests to connect or advertising messages. This caused a number of my network to “unlink”.

This was a powerful lesson for me. From this point on-wards I only connect with people that I have some relationship with – either real life connections, or people I have interacted with on one of the various groups.

So here are some key reasons I won’t link up with you:

  1. I don’t know you – sure we may be able to help each other, but lets build a relationship first before I let you in my trusted network
  2. You are an “open networker” or member of “LION” – if you will connect with anyone, then I cannot see how you value your connections – use Twitter instead!
  3. We worked at the same company – but I don’t remember you
  4. You send a standard “I value my professional network and I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn. “ and I was not expecting it – tell me why you want to connect, make it personal
  5. You are a recruitment consultant – if you want to contact me use Inmail – if you are not paying for this service then you are not serious
  6. Individuals looking to Connect for the purpose of recommendation or referrals. – I will make my own mind up thank you!
  7. A difficult boss, subordinates or client wants to connect.. If they were difficult once – they will be trouble again
  8. Your image/ avatar is not of you. LI is a people place. Plus it also means you have not read the “LinkedIn rules” – “DON’T Upload a cartoon, symbol, drawing or any content other than a head-shot photograph of yourself in your profile photo;”
  9. You request an invite to link as we are both members of the XXXXX group. If you want to ask a question, do it through the group. Just linking because we have a common interest does not build a relationship
  10. You request to link and say that we have done business together & I have never heard of you – if you lie here what else are you lying about?
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** Please note these are reasons why I MIGHT NOT link with you – it’s not a hard & fast set of “rules” but a set of guiding principles

LinkedIn is a powerful communication tool to connect with you

linkedin-profile-mikemorrison I won't connect to you on LinkedInLinkedIn is a powerful communication tool, and each of us needs not only to know how to use it, but to have a strategy for its use as part of our “social media” or “social business” approach. We need to have this to help ensure a consistent approach. If we are not consistent, then people looking at our profile may be confused and pass up by as a result. It’s not about having a profile “because every one else does” – its about having a profile for a purpose. Sure over time that purpose may change. But only over time and not day-to-day.

Just because you use your statuses in one way does not mean that is true for everyone. Some may argue that the best way to “know” someone is to read their status updates – for me its more about their profile, how much they opt to make public (or hide!) and their approach in groups and how they answer questions – is it more about “Me..me..me” or is it “How can I help you?”

So for me LinkedIn is about relationships and trust, and the trust has to be there before we link. It has to be win/win before I connect with you in LinkedIn.

It’s also about showing who we are. If we try to be things we are not, the lack of authenticity will show through. The goal is not to be liked by all, but to be understood for who you are and the unique skills and experience each of us can offer.

What is your personal strategy/ “personal policy” for using LinkedIn? Is it a conscious plan or an evolving beast?

I won’t connect to you on LinkedIn – or will I?

Comments

  13. Interesting take – RT @RapidBI: 10 reasons I won't connect to you on LinkedIn – #in

    Reply

  68. I think a networking strategy is very personal and unique for each individual. It has a lot to do with one’s personality. Just because I connect with you on Linked in does not mean you are part of my inner circle or that I would even recommend you to anyone. It is simply an entry point not a destination. My real inner circle lies on a database on my server. Therefore, my strategy is different than what you posted and I use Linkedin as a tool to meet as many people as possible. I always want to strengthen my social graph. Thanks for posting this. I respect and love to see people that see things differently. You made me think.

    Reply

  69. 1. How do we get to know each other if not on Linked in? Many don’t or won’t use Twitter. Ok, mapbe in a group. But there I won’t see all your updates.

    2. See above

    3. Agreed. At least give a good reason for reconnecting. I have connected with many from previous employers, but I always gave a specific reason why I wanted to stay in touch.

    4. Absolutely! See #3 too.

    5 & 6. Definitely. But I don’t get a lot of recruiters asking to connect unless I know them. I don’t mind you asking for a referral, once I know who you are and why you are asking, though.

    7. Luckily I haven’t had to encounter this one.

    8. If you don’t have a picture, I better know who you are.

    9. I don’t mind this one, but see #4

    10. For sure. Or, don’t just click a box because you can’t find my email. Don’t lie, or be lazy. (I may have violated this rule early on. Sorry.)

    Reply

    • Hi James
      we can get to know eachother through groups or via email. In my case I allow people to contact me. I also have a link to my website where there is contact details.
      For me its about trust – sure other people take a different approach – fair enough. But LI is not the only way of connecting with people.
      I would also challenge that of those with many connections, other than an “email push” how do they maintain the relationship?

      As for updates, lets be realistic, one you follow or are connected with more than 100 people you wont see the majority of updates anyway – there are just too many.

      Reply

  76. This is a really helpful post – I’ve been trying to figure out my linkedIn ‘policy’ for a while and this really helps.

    For someone who is new to LinkedIn, I would cut them a little slack on items 4 and 8. Because they might not be confident about fiddling with the message and might not have got round to changing the avatar.

    Reply

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